Starting Over

I was finally able to make myself read for sociology. I actually enjoyed the reading, but I just read so damn slow. I think that's all I have due for tomorrow, but maybe I'll get some other work done as well.

Studying hasn't happened so far. I fell asleep and then woke up because Clare wanted to go out to dinner since she'd gotten her car fixed. We ended up going out to fuddruckers. After that we stopped by best buy, then super-walmart so i could get Marlene some soup and tostitos. Then to Walgreens so I could get the medicine she wanted. I'm back in the dorm now and hopefully can read some stupid sociology.

I got to have a short day with classes. I got out of succeeding in college 30 minutes early and Logic was cancelled, so I'm done for the day. Now I'll eat and hopefully study.

Greg and I spend way too much time watching Simpsons episodes that we've downloaded. That's what we did for a lot of last night before watching Saw. But at least we got to sleep at a decent hour, 3am. That's pretty early for us. I got up this morning at 11am so I could do my homework that's due today. I really need to make myself read tonight so I don't get behind in sociology and geography. Lets hope I can do it.

YAY, i've been trying to check my school email account more often because a couple of my professors actually email me there. I checked it just now and Logic is cancelled for today. That means more time to study, right?

Picture time




This is the second time we've put Clare in a shopping cart.


Happy siblings


Marlene and Kym outside during our 2 hour wait at Olive Garden


Clare and Jeannie outside Olive Garden


Old School Boys

Damn fire drill. Since I wasn't in my room I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and it was cold and drizzling outside. That sucked. I've been lazy and haven't been able to study. But I should be up all night so I have time.

That's the wrong attitude to have.

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
- William Jennings Bryan

Had burger boy. It had been awhile since I'd ordered from there. Very good food. When will I be able to make myself start studying? Hopefully 9.

I finally got to sleep at 9 something. All day I didn't want to get out of bed, and so I didn't. I just layed there, because I had nothing to do that I wanted to do. But now I'm up and I know I need to study. Hopefully I will be able to concentrate enough to get my work done.

I finished 3 loads of laundry because that's all I had money for. Now I wonder if I should actually fold my clothes or just go lay down. Tough call....I guess I'll fold them.

Went and played pool for about 3 hours. At times I had no concentration, but other times I was on. I faded fast at the end, but still mangaged to make myself concentrate so I could win the overall amount of games. I beat greg 8-2 in 9-ball and then was the first to 4 games out of Greg, Kym and myself in cut throat. Now it's time for laundry.

The game against Baylor was good. It was closer than it should've been most of the way, but we pulled away at the end. Afterwards a bunch of us went to eat at the new Olive Garden. That was very good, and it was very nice of Greg's parents to treat everybody. We did some shopping at super wal-mart then dropped Marlene off. The rest of us went to go see Hide and Seek. I thought it was a good movie, I never expected the outcome to be what it was. Now I'm back in the dorm and since it doesn't feel like 3:15am I think I'll go play pool.

I layed back down, but didn't fall asleep until around noon then woke back up at 2. Now I'll relax and listen to music until time to head off to the game. I should get something to eat. Hopefully I won't be really lazy and just stay in my room and not eat.

I'm actually up early for some reason. I showered, but I don't feel like walking to get breakfast so I think I'll just go lay back down until 1, which is when I planned to get up in the first place.

Ended up watching The Forgotten and Friday Night Lights, both movies that I wanted to see when they came out, but never got the chance to. I'm glad I got to see them though because they were both very good movies.

I love everything I bought today. I made some good choices =)

Ofon came into the room as I was about to go to sleep and showed off his new phone. That's when I'd had enough of my old phone and decided it was time to do it big. He took me to the t-mobile store and after much consideration I ended up with the Samsung D415. It's NICE. Afterwards we went to Best Buy where I splurged a little more. I finally got me some new speakers, which I've been wanting for awhile now. I also got me a wireless keyboard and mouse and some rechargeable batteries for my digital camera. No more spending for me for awhile.

I got plenty of rest last night, which is good, so now I can stay up all day. I got up for spanish since I figured it was my only class of the day so I may as well go. We did workbook stuff then a little out of the textbook. It was an easy day. Now I shall eat and relax today and maybe even do some homework.

I was hungry so Greg and I ordered a 20" pizza. I got my half with no cheese. Somehow I ate my whole half. That was a lot, but it was good. Now I may actually go back to bed since I'm full.

I ended up crashing and not going to hip hop. Now I'll probably be up all night. Oh well. I got rest.

I went to geography and stayed awake for the majority of the time. It turns out they gave me the wrong book for the class so I have to go exchange it. Luckily I didn't start reading it though. After class I ended up walking to the rec and running a couple games. My shins started hurting me though and I could barely walk afterwards. I caught the bus halfway back then walked the rest of the way in the rain. I was soaked. I got some food and said screw the rain and bought me an umbrella as well. I'm in my room now and need to rest up before hip hop a little later. I don't know how I've stayed up all day, but I have.

Logic was boring and that stupid TA made us stay until the end when we could've gotten out 15 minutes early. He just kept making up examples though. Spanish was okay, I started getting tired near the end of class and lost concentration, but oh well.

I've done too much walking today. I've walked back to my dorm in between each class today because of poor planning on my part. But still, way too much walking today.

I didn't get to sleep until almost 5am last night. Not good. But I set my alarm for 6:30am. I woke up and turned the music down and listened to it until I got my wake up call at 7:15am. After that I got up and got ready and actually had time to eat breakfast. I got my breakfast burrito then about then when I got almost to sociology I realized I needed to be wearing tennis shoes for weight training, but instead I had on my crocs. Meaning I'd have to hurry back to my room in between sociology and weight training. Sociology wasn't bad. I was able to stay awake with no problem, which was good. And I actually took notes. I hurried to get my shoes in between classes then went to weight training. He went over some techniques then we had a little time to workout. Couper ended up being my training partner and we had time to do fly's and dips. Damn my weak triceps, they look good, but they're weak. I got through the first set of 10 dips, but had to split the second set into 5 and 5. Since activity classes are only 40 minutes long I get an extra break, which I can use today.

Trying to think positive.

Ended up going to play pool tonight with Greg, Kym and Jeannie. Jeannie is just too hilarious. I started out playing left handed because I want to get better at it for certain shots. A relaxful night, but now we'll see how much sleep I get before my horrible day tomorrow.

I just wanna go to sleep and not wake up. Too bad I can't.

I had spanish lab today for the first time. At first the TA couldn't get the stuff to work so we wasted time at the beginning. But today the work was just ridiculously easy so I was on facebook the whole time even while listening to the tapes. I ran into Marlene and Heather after spanish lab. I talked with them for awhile then headed to CAEN. I hadn't checked my neo account so I went to the wrong room. I figured I could go to a computer lab and check it, but then I'd be late for sure. Instead I headed to the room that the blonde girl had us go to the other day and luckily for me that's where the class was, so I wasn't late. I started falling asleep in there, but somehow didn't just pass out. I got a hot dog and chips after class to hopefully help me stay awake in Logic. It kind of did, but not really work. I was uncomfortable the whole time and kept moving around in my seat. I couldn't sit still. The material he went over seemed like the same stuff we went over last time so I didn't take that many notes. We got out a little early and I feel like going to sleep, but I know I shouldn't because I need plenty of rest tonight or tomorrow will kick my ass for sure.

I ended up just falling asleep last night, which is good, but I still didn't want to wake up this morning. This day already feels like it's going to start off badly.
fuck.

I woke up and went to the rec with Kym and Clare for hip hop. It was fun as I had expected it to be. I'm glad I signed up for it. We learned 3 8 counts today. One part still throws me off, but I'll go on thursday to fix that. After hip hop I decided to play basketball. I told myself that I'd play one game then I was going to get something to eat since I'd only eaten once. My team ended up winning the first game and of course I decided to play another. The second game was a blowout so it didn't really count, so I stayed. After the third game I was convinced to play until the team lost. The fourth game was close, but we won it. Halfway through the fifth game I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I felt like throwing up. That was it for me. I called for a sub and walked off the court. I caught my breath then went to the other side of the gym, which was basically empty. I coached Kym on her shot. I had to get that damn step out of it. I worked with her for awhile then we went and played horse with Greg. I was off, but I'd rather say I did a damn good job of coaching cuz Kym won the 1st two games and barely lost to Greg in the third game. After horse we played a game of 21 where I won by only shooting three pointers. My last shot to win it was a half court shot. I'm getting pretty good at those. We finally left just before the rec closed at midnight and went to Rumours to eat. On the way back to Eppright we ran into Ofon, Chrystal, and Britney. We ended up talking with them for awhile. Now I wish I had a tub to soak my body in, but I don't so I guess a hot shower will have to do.

I barely made it through spanish and half made it through geography. I HAVE to get enough sleep wednesday night or there's no way I'll make it through thursday. I think I'll start getting that sleep now. At least that way I won't be down.

I made myself go to class even though I really didn't want to. Especially since it was sociology. But I went and that's what counts. Plus I actually took notes. Health and strength training was cool. We just copied slides then got out 20 minutes early. I came back and since I'd gotten out early I was able to get my breakfast burrito. As I passed through the commons this morning I was craving one, so I'm glad I got it. Now I'll take a short nap that will hopefully help me to stay awake through geography.

I finally read what I needed to read. I'm surprised I was able to make myself, but I'm glad that I did. I'm not behind yet. Let's keep it that way.

I was laying on my bed about to fall asleep after watching a good game between Rutgers and Syracuse when Clare called Greg saying that she'd go to the rec and play. I told her earlier that I'd go whenever she wanted to, but I didn't think it was going to be tonight. But it was so I had to get up and go. Greg and I met her up there. It was packed so there was no area to practice like we'd hoped. But while we waited for our turn to play we worked with Clare on passing and defense. After that I worked with her on her shooting some. That's when she asked me if I'd ever thought of being a coach. I have and it's still an option, but I don't know. We played our game and I was off. My shot was lined up perfectly, but it kept coming up short. We ended up losing so I just worked with Clare some more on her shot and lay-ups then we left. Clare brought us back to eppright, but her car was running hot so she decided to leave it there awhile. Once again I got to parallel park for someone else. I didn't feel like staying in the room so I went to play pool. I wasn't in that great of a mood so I was off some cuz I was hitting the balls too hard. But oh well. Now I need to read so I don't get behind in sociology.

I didn't feel like getting up for classes this morning, but I finally got out of bed at 12:20. Spanish was cool as usual. No problems there. I went to my CAEN class. As I was walking towards the room a girl was coming back from it telling me it had been moved to another room. So 4 of us went to that room and it was nobody there either. We waited for a little bit and then went to check the sign on the door again. It turns out the blonde was wrong. She read the sign for the TR classes and not the MW classes. It turns out our class had been moved to a completely different building. We walked over there and class wasn't bad today. Shouldn't be any problems there. After CAEN I had Logic. I tried reading before class and it just wasn't working. Luckily though, the prof explained it much better than the book did. I actually understood what was going on. I still should read before class though. We'll see. Class ended and I walked back to the commons for food and came back to my room to watch jeapordy and now the simpsons.

Lets hope I can study tonight...and workout.

This semester spanish shouldn't be a problem for me. I feel like learning spanish so I've already worked ahead in the workbook. I've gone over the flash cards I've made plenty of times. It's too bad that I have other classes. I'm just not interested in those classes. Therefore I can't make myself study for them yet. I hope that I will be able to, but I don't know. I need to read for Logic, but it's not interesting to me so I put it down. I need to read for succeeding in college, but the class seems like a blow off so I put the reading off until a later date. I need to read for Sociology, but I just don't like how the class name sounds. I think it might be interesting if I get into it, but I haven't given it the chance. I need to read for Geography, but I don't like geography. At least not the geography we're going now. I didn't need to read for spanish yet and I didn't need to do work out of the workbook yet, but I did because I want to learn it and I'm interested in it. Hopefully I'll give my other classes a chance.

It's another school week. Lets go.

Went to play pool so I could get out of the room. Ended up going with Kym, Ofon, and Jeannie. We played for awhile, but I didn't feel like concentrating near the end. I need to get some studying done now, but I'm really not in the mood to study.

I really don't know how I'm going to make it through this semester.

Should I just go home now?

pool was good. i wasn't in a happy mood at first, not because necessarily something was wrong, but i just wasn't happy. but as i kept playing i got in a better mood. we'll see how long it lasts this time.

I got up today and got ready for the game. I met up with Marlene and Kym for the game. At the game we met up with Brandi and Jeannie. The men's game was good. They had and alright first half, but a very good second half. Marlene, Kym and planned to stay for the women's game so in between games we studied some. The women's game wasn't as good. We started out good in it, but the OU took over and we never really got back in it. After the game it was COLD outside since the wind was blowing hard. We walked to the rec then decided to call for a ride. We called Ofon and he got us from the rec then met up with Clare and ate at Cazodores. It was very good. After we ate we went to drop Marlene off at Lindsay's and spent a little time over there. Now I'll probably go play pool and then maybe watch a movie.

I ended up watching Spiderman on my computer. I should sleep since I'm going to the game tomorrow, maybe the men and women's.

What to do with my life?

I woke up and watched some basketball on tv. The Rockets pulled out a close on in NY and Indiana edged Miami in OT. After that I went to the movies to see Coach Carter again with Ofon, Kym, Jeannie, and Clare. Such a good movie. Afterwards we went to Taco C and now I'm back in the dorm. My mood had gone up, but it's back down now.

I really didn't feel like getting up for spanish today. I almost didn't. Somehow I made myself get out of bed. Ding called me and asked me if I wanted to go to Austin this weekend. Him and Greg are going up there, but I decided that I needed to read and make sure I don't fall behind already. I went to spanish and when I got out Ding was here. I met him in Mosher circle. I didn't recognize him at first without his hair. I thought it was Harry at first, but no. We waited there for Greg to get out of class. Before we came up to our dorm Ding started to move his car so he could stay there for another 30 minutes. But it turns out he can't parallel park, so he waived me over to park his car for him. Now I'm back in my room and just feel like going to sleep.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through this semester. I already feel like quitting and my mood is going down and down.


------

I ended up going to sleep and not waking up until a little while ago. I figure that as long as I'm asleep I can't really feel down. I guess I'll be sleeping a lot for now.

sigh...

I was tired and not in a good mood so I started to watch the Rockets game, but I was laying on my bed so I fell asleep shortly after the game started. Now I guess I'll be up all night.

I'm still not happy about my money.

I went to geography and barely made it through. I came back and looked at my fee statement and things weren't adding up to me. I called financial aid and that didn't help so I walked over there. I talked to the supervisor in financial aid and she couldn't help me because it was the scholarships that were off, so she sent me upstairs to talk to somebody. I went up there and it turns out they pulled some complete bullshit on me. They not only took away a $750 grant from me from this semester, which i expected, but they also went back and took $687 from a grant that I had last semester. I am not in a good mood now.

FUCK!!!

Logic lab was good since it only lasted like 10 minutes. Since I had the extra time today I came back to my side of campus to eat and chill in the dorms for a little bit. I barely made it through spanish today so I don't know how I'm going to make it through geography. I barely made it through geography on tuesday so today I may end up knocked out. Hopefully not. I really don't feel like even going, but I know I really should. Damn my inability to sleep at night.

I got up and headed off to class. I got my, what seems it'll be usual, cinnamon roll and drink on my way to sociology. The first hour was cool, but the last 15 minutes, I just lost concentration. I wanted to get up and leave because I felt like throwing up and was short of breath. But I made it to the end. As I was passing by Rudder on my way to health and strength training I ran into Al who works at Rudder. I talked with him some and he got me the programs from the bonfire memorial from last semester. I'm surprised that he remembered I wanted them. For health and strength training we were in the weight room today. He just went over all the equipment and said some other stuff. It was pretty boring, but at least we got out early. Now I get to rest in my room for like 25 minutes then it's off to class again.

Damn, I really need to get more sleep, especially on wednesday nights.

I couldn't go to sleep so I ended up making like 150 flash cards for spanish. and this is from like the pre-lessons. oh well. some of them are just plain easy and i didn't and shouldn't have made flash cards for, but oh well. but i went through them once and i think i'll go through them again then try to get some sleep. buenas noches.

Fuck me.

I apologize.

I was hungry earlier, but my stomach wasn't feeling good so I didn't really eat. I watched some tv then went to play pool. I did pretty good today. I almost ran the table once, but my last setup was off and I blocked my shot on the 8-ball. I got a couple burgers after shooting pool and finally ate. Now I'm watching basketball. I need to study some though.

Somehow I just magically woke up at 12:20, which is when I was supposed to be leaving for class. But I just got up and dressed and still made it to Spanish on time. We switched to the room next door, which was cool because it's cooler in there. After Spanish I went straight over to succeeding in college. That shouldn't be too bad as long as I make it to class. After that I went straight to Logic. I think I'll like that class. The prof is from Rice and he seems laid back. We only spent 20 minutes in there today so that was good. I have to start waking up with time to eat on MW or else I'll be struggling to make it through my back to back to back classes. I made it today since we got out early, but barely, so now I eat.

50 suicides is approximately 4.45 miles. I don't know when the last time I ran that much in a day was.

I wasn't in the mood to be awake so I went to sleep. I got up around 7:30 and walked to the game. I met up with Kym, Marlene, and Larhesa there. It was a close game for most of the time then OU pulled away at the end. I wasn't in a good mood during the game, but I stayed the whole time anyways. Afterwards I went to the rec and ran 50 suicides and did 100 push-ups. I was ready to pass out afterwards, but I made it back to the commons to get some spaghetti and meatballs. My stomach was aching so I figured I needed some food. I ate and now my stomach still doesn't really feel better. Now I should sleep so I can wake up at a decent hour.

I wondered how long it'd take for this semester to start going downhill. I figured it'd be more than around 11 hours, but I guess not. Or maybe this was just a slight detour today. I guess I can only wait until tomorrow to find out.

I made it through the first day of classes and I actually made it to all of them on time. It's been awhile since I could say that. Hopefully I can keep that up.

I made it to my sociology class on time and managed to stay awake the whole time. I think I'll like that class if I can get rest and stay awake during it. After sociology I went to Health and fitness. That class should be cool. It's not quite what I thought, but I can work with it. I had to stay in sociology the whole time, but got out of health and fitness after 30 minutes. Now to occupy my time so that I stay up all day.

Since I was just sitting around in a dark room I got tired. I got to a point where I knew I would fall asleep in a few minutes if I got on my bed. I waited around until about 5:20am and climbed into bed. About 5:30am I fell asleep and woke up at 7am after my power nap. Now I shall actually make it to an 8am class. Go me.

Another goal of mine for this semester, do what Timo had to do to get back on the team in Coach Carter.

I am worth $99,642,580.75 for one night of wild lovin'! How much are you worth?
Get your worth

We went to the rec about 9:30. We ran our full court games again. My stomach was feeling bad at first, but I played through it and it felt better as I kept playing. Around 11:30 just about everybody had left, so we played a game of horse. I won because I caught fire and started hitting 35-40ft jumpers with ease. After that we did our free-throws/sprints. I went 7-10, 7-10, 8-10, 8-10, which isn't bad for me, but it's not where I want to be. We finished up then went to play pool again. I started off playing how I know I can play then I lost concentration and started rushing everything. But I finished strong. Now I was planning on going to sleep, but I haven't been up long enough to sleep so I'll pull an all-nighter on the first day of school. Who the hell does that? This isn't how I was supposed to start out this semester.

Greg, Kym and I went out to eat at Fuddruckers. I ended up getting a 1/2lb burger, which ended up stuffing me. I wanted to get it to go so I could come back and watch the rockets game, but we found a tv and nobody was watching it. We watched the end of the UCONN vs. Seton Hall game then watched the rest of the rockets first half vs. the grizzlies. We left and now we'll try to wait for Clare to get off work and then go to the rec to workout. I really don't feel like it right now though because I ate too much and my stomach doesn't feel good now. I hope it feels better soon.

Yesterday was better than I thought it would be. I got in and unpacked everything, from the car. I watched tv then went to play basketball with Greg, Kym, and Ofon. We got there and planned on just working on our skills, but it was too crowded so we ended up running games. We picked up another girl and worked on our 2-3 zone defense that we plan on using in intramurals. It worked pretty well. We won a few games. The other girl left and we picked up another guy. We played until about 11:45. After that we shot free-throws and did sprints for the ones we missed until they kicked us out. We came back to the southside of campus, Ofon went to his room while the rest of us went to play pool. We played pool until around 3am. I was off for most of the night, probably because I was starving. We got back to the room and thought Ofon was asleep, but he was still up and ended up taking us to McDonalds. I ended up treating everybody since I have so many Aggie bucks plus a meal plan this semester. I got more than I normally would, I wasn't sure if I'd eat it all, but I did. After we ate we watched 10 Things I Hate About You. I'd forgotten that I'd seen it before, but I still watched it again. We crashed after that and today I just didn't feel like getting out of bed.

I woke up at 11 after Ding called me like 4 times. I didn't feel like getting up so I kept laying in bed. I didn't sleep much more after that, but I didn't feel like getting up. I finally got up and showered and now I shall go eat soon. Then it looks like another workout tonight. Maybe it'll make me tired enough to get some sleep tonight.

bye bye houston
i'll miss you

"Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."
- Louisa May Alcott


Thanks to Russell Peters I got to laugh some. But will I get any sleep? I don't know.

i couldn't just sit indoors all day so i went riding. i rode around and ended up at the palace. they'd had some private party all day and had just opened up to the public when i got there so it was pretty empty. i just sat around for awhile then ended up bowling 5 games. it wasn't that much since i didn't have to pay for shoes, even though i used theirs and since i got 4 of the 5 games at the senior price. it's good to know people. my mind wasn't into bowling so i didn't do as well as i thought i should've done. i missed some easy spares. i still bowled a 142, 148, 152, 138, and a 170, for a 150 average. after i bowled i sat there and watched some other people bowl before i left to go drive around some more. i didn't want to go home because i knew that once i went home i wouldn't be going out again this break. and i was thinking about that all night.

i made it through this break because i had my wonderful friends to hang out with and keep my mind off other things that i would've been thinking about if i was alone. thanks to them i was able to have a good christmas break. bowling as always was fun, but i also got more into pool, which hopefully i'll continue to get better at. all the late nights were great even if i did go beyond broke. staying up late at someone's house just talking and playing games was a blast. even just staying up late and having conversations on AIM helped keep me sane. but i sit here now and tears start coming to my eyes because my stay in houston has come to an end for now. i've told myself all break that i'm ready for this semester. that i can handle my classes no problem. but when all is done and said i still have this fear in me. this fear that my depression will spring right back up when i get back to A&M. that i'll be alone too often and my mind will come up with too many different scenarios that will just destroy me from the inside.

i need a 4.0 this semester to get back on track. this past year my pride has hurt me by not letting me do the right things that i needed to do. in the past my pride wouldn't let me fail for any reason, so i'm hoping that that's what it will do for me this semester. i have goals for this semseter and they're realistic goals. but i don't know if they will be accomplished. but i hope they are.

as i sit here watching a pbs special on Martin Luther King Jr, I try to think of all the old ways of inspiration that I had. All the quotes I used to use. All the people I used as role models. I'm going to need everything I can get to help me through this semester. Anybody who reads this, feel free to check up on me during the semester to make sure I'm on track. I'd appreciate it. I'll try to stay in touch with everyone better than I have before, and hopefully I will.

Do or Die time for me. A lot of times I feel like dying, but this time I wanna Do.

I got up late today so it was a blah kind of day. I got up and Monica fixed pancakes for everybody. I ate then just layed down watching football all day. Big Ben and Mike Vick won so that's good. I cleaned up some, but I still need to pack.

Eh, so the break ends.

"The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it, put your whole soul into it -- every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have."
- John D. Rockefeller III

went to see coach carter with a few people. it was a very good movie. afterwards we went to IHOP. the pecan pancakes were very good. i finally got Meet The Browns from the bowling alley and now I shall watch it.

Hopefully I'll write up a recap of my break tomorrow. along with something else.

For the past two nights I've watched part of Baseketball, but I always start it ridiculously late so I haven't finished it yet. It reminds me of the old days in Russian class where it took us over 3 years to finish a movie. Those were the days. Anywho, Rose called me saying she probably couldn't come out tonight so she came over for a little while and hung out. I'm glad I got to see her again before she left. After she came over I got to talk to Kristan, which I haven't had the chance to do much of lately. Hopefully that will change. It's always nice to hear from her. I didn't take my momma to work this morning, so now I'm hungry. Or do I just want to go back to sleep? Or I'll just lay here and finish watching I Love Lucy. I think I'll do that.

I should really go to sleep now, but instead I'll stay up and think about things that I need to get off my mind.

I didn't have anything to do and was still down so I headed to UH to play pool. Overall I had a good day. I mostly played against PJ. I'll admit he's better than me, but not by much. We each went on our runs of games. I had the last laugh, but I killed him that game and talked him into one more and he ended up winning after I screwed myself on one shot. Once I get a decent back spin down then I'll start hustling. I can get it every once in awhile, but not anywhere near consistent. But I did get a better break down tonight. I also improved my stroke, so that's good. Efrain and his girl showed up near the end, haven't seen him much this break.

Now I'm back home and want to go out again to keep my mind off things, but I shall lay here and hopefully eat soon.

the first part of my day has been a complete waste and has left me down. maybe i'll get something done in the next part of my day. maybe i'll be happy again.

I just received my customary drunken phone call from Pu. Except this time he passed the phone around to everybody who was there. I really don't understand why people drink and get drunk.

What a day. I got up and got ready. Marlene and I met up with everybody else over Greg's. It ended up being Marlene, Greg, Poke, Ding, Lynn, Line, and myself going up there. Marlene and I went ahead. We got there and did my financial aid and added my aggie bucks. Then everybody met at Reed so we could get our tickets. We ate over Clare's then Marlene and I bought or books. We got to the game about an hour early so we could all get seats together. Luckily we did. We got our seats and jammed to the music while it lasted. Too bad they screwed up some of the songs though. Kym got Clare from work and they met us at the game. And what a game it was. A&M trailed 1-0 and 4-3. The game was tied at 12 apiece, but after that A&M had the lead for good. Acie Law came through for us hitting all the big shots when they were needed. With about 2 minutes left I tied my shoes. With about 1 minute left a bunch of people started moving down towards the court, including Kym, Clare, Greg, Marlene, and myself. TU stopped fouling with like 25 seconds left and Acie dribbled out the clock. When the clock hit all zeros we rushed the court. It was unbelievable. It was hot, but it was so much fun. After the game we were stuck in the parking lot for awhile, but we finally made it to Chilli's to eat. We ate and joked around then went back to Clare's Some played poker, some watched tv, some slept, some used the computer. Ding, Line, Marlene, and myself finally left around 1:45am. I drove slow, for myself, since I had someone following me. But we made it in and now I don't know what I'll do. I'm still too excited from the game, so I'm not tired at all. We'll see.


Pictures later.

Long day, I hope I got enough sleep.

I met up with my cousin and he cut my hair. I'm going to have to come back to Houston during the semester to have him cut it. I came back and sat down for two minutes before leaving to go watch National Treasure. It was a good movie. I'm glad I finally saw it. I'm home now and trying to pack, but packing isn't my thing.

I stayed up this morning and ate my breakfast and watched some tv. I called Rose and we went to run then stretch. I took her home then took Marlene to her doctors appointment. I came home and tried to stay awake, but passed out. I woke up to go get my momma. Now I'm going to eat my cheeseless pizza that Marlene made for me :D

i finally got to sleep around 6am only to have to wake up around 7:30am. Every morning I try to stay awake. Will this actually be the morning?

I ended up going back to sleep and not waking up until it was time to go get Monica. Therefore it was pointless for me to wake up and take her in the first place. Oh well, I did that then came home for a little while. I went to starbucks to meet Alison. We played speed and gin and caught up. After that I came home and ate before going to meet some people at Fuddruckers. Then we all went bowling at Dynamic. It was a league night so we ended up waiting awhile to bowl, but we still had fun. We ended up bowling 2 games. Afterwards I took Mandy to Wendy's then back to her car. Then I went to catch up with everyone else at Dings house. We played Cranium and NFL Street. We were there until about 4am. Now I'm back home and not tired. I knew I shouldn't have gone back to sleep.

i went to bed "early" last night. around 4:30am. and i got up around 9 to get ready and take monica to work. on the way back i stopped and got chick-fil-a for breakfast. i guess i'll stay up and not go back to sleep. well...we'll see.

The entertainment line-up for the rodeo is out

i ate then went over to Q's to try to get some cds from him, but his burner was bunk. but it was cool. i chilled over there for a little while with him and mandy. she's quite the character. after i left his place i went over to Pu's to watch the end of the Rockets game. T-mac is just unstoppable when he's feeling it. I came home and ate again then got online. I wonder how long I'll be up tonight.

i woke up and went straight out to herod to play football. we had a very good turnout today, which was nice. we played some football for awhile then took a break. after the break we ended up playing kickball. it was Rogers vs. the rest. of course Rogers won. when we were leaving ann and rose had a flat tire so the rest of us stayed to help them change it. i followed them home afterwards and now i'm home ready to eat.

I spent all night over Ding's. Greg came over, then Ann and Rose, then Kristan. We played Trivial Pursuit, The 90s Edition. I suck at games like that. So after a little while I went back to NFL Street. Kristan couldn't stay long :( but it was nice to see her again. Later on Daniel, Olivia, and Q stopped by. We were there until almost 3am, then we got kicked out in one of the nicest ways possible. I took Greg home then came home and got some money from my sisters and went to Burger King. Now I've eaten too much and should sleep, but I won't.

I don't know what was wrong with me while I was driving tonight, but I didn't feel comfortable driving. Everything felt shaky and a bunch of objects looked like people to me. For some reason I was doubting my driving ability. I don't know what was wrong with me. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't see out of my windows when i started driving, but either way I'm thankful that I made it home safely.

and now i just feel bad.

why am i such a fuckin bum? things were supposed to change in 2005, but of course i know it's not about starting at a certain date. it's about just doing the damn thing. so i just need to fuckin do what i need to do.

went out to see white noise with a bunch of people. lets just say i wanted my money back when it was over. after the movie, Q, Pu, Arielle, Crissy, and myself went to IHOP. IHOP was just hilarious. good night.

Marlon came by and we ended up going to get another phone for the house. Then he took me to pick up Monica's car and get some blank cds from his apartment. Now I get ready for movies.

Marlene, Monica, and I went over to my grandmothers to help her take down her christmas decorations. After that we went straight to pick up my momma from Pershing. Did that then I got some food from Sonic. Ate that while they were in Target. Came home and now I don't know what to do for now.

This feeling just won't go away. Dammit.

i went to bed again at 5am, which is becoming more and more regular. today i was up at 7:30 to take my momma to work. my momma drove to work this morning cuz she could tell i was too out of it, which i was. but i got my breakfast so it's all worthwhile. what to do today?

I got up and headed over to Olivia's. PJ and I helped her paint her room. She should've gone with the blue like i suggested. After that I went and picked up my momma from pershing. I came home and changed and Becky picked me up. We went to the galleria so she could exchange her ring that she got for christmas. we did that and i stole some of their little cards and envelopes. After that we met up with a bunch of people at Lambo. Good food and good times. Afterwards a few of us went to UH and met up with Grace and Randall for pool and bowling. I need to get my consistency in pool like I now have with bowling. Even though my first game of bowling wasn't that good it was still a 144 then I came back with a 175 in the second game. Now I'm home early again. Oh how the times have changed.

fuck me, i knew i shouldn't have gone back to sleep.

i got about 3 hours of sleep before taking my momma to work. i really didn't want to get up and take her, but then i also didn't want to be stuck at home all day without a car. i've eaten, now do i want to sleep a little more or just begin my day.

of course i didn't go to sleep. i rested for like 30 minutes and of course that ruined it all for me. oh well. caught up with an old friend. but losing contact with another old friend. 2005 is a year of changes. and they're beginning.

I spent a lot of time over Ding's playing nfl street. after that marlene and i took some leftovers from maggianos to Allison at Hallmark. I came home and did some more html then headed over to Q's for Alias with him and Arielle. Welcome back Alias, you've been missed. After Alias Mandy came over then we all went to the palace to bowl a game. I missed some easy spares, but still managed a 160. I've been tired all day so maybe I should go to sleep now.

i took my momma to work so i'd have a car then i got breakfast from chick-fil-a. i came home and ate then started working on some html. now i go play ps2.

there's not much to do at this time in the morning so i decided to stretch. i remember the days where i stretched all the time and i did stretches like a workout where i would be sore the next day from it. i don't know if i'll get back into it like that, but i would like to start stretching more.

ALIAS TONIGHT!!! :D

i love it when my sisters are in a good mood.

i didn't take a nap and ended up passing out around 7:30. I woke up at some point, but said screw it and went back to sleep. I got up at 3 and now I don't know what to do for the rest of the night.

i got mcdonalds for breakfast then went over to dings and played ps2. then i went to get my momma's car. came home and ate a little more then took my sisters to pershing so they could use my momma's car and i could use monica's car. after that i picked up ding and we met up with Q at rice to run. surprise surprise, i ran the whole way around. i felt good after that. i was on my way to kinkaid with ding to pick up brian. RIGHT before we get there my car goes dead and won't go anywhere. everytime i shifted it into drive it would stall. Marlon came out and it ran for a little while, but died again. we got it into a gas station and daniel, not poke, met us there. marlon and daniel looked at the car and i learned some. still never figured out exactly what was wrong with it, but after putting some oil in it it ran a lot smoother. it ran all the way to mr. mac's and that's where it will remain for the night. he'll look at it tomorrow and hopefully figure out what's wrong with it. now i'm home and hungry. time for pizza.

why am i up right now? to take ding his ps2.

ridiculous

i stayed up watching gone in 60 seconds and looking through a book on html.

i'm back for now ;)

i wasn't in a good mood and was hungry. i didn't feel like fixing me any food so i went out and spent money that i didn't have. i got too much and ate it too fast. now i feel like throwing up. and i'm still not in a good mood.

i went to uh with some people to bowl. we did guys vs. girls. of course the guys won even though i sucked it up on those lanes.

i ran to the bank with marlene then went up to pershing. switched cars and went to taco bell. i came home and got some gumbo to eat, cuz i couldn't afford to eat out. after eating i started on nfl street. i may have to steal dings ps2. we'll see.

i don't know when i fell asleep last night, but oh well. i finally got up around 12:30 after kym texted me and olivia called me. i got up and got ready, went and got my momma's car, then went and picked kym and oilvia up. we headed out to greyhound and got kym on the bus back to college station then went over to dings. i took his play station and i'll have to use it later. but for now i have errands to run.

i ran over to my grandmothers to get some boxes for monica. i made excellent time on this trip. after that i went over to dings to hang out some. i hit up that nfl street again and showed em how it was done. we went to see spanglish. i wasn't expecting much from it, but it turned out to be pretty good. after the movie we went to house of pies. i took people back to dings house, dropped off nussbaum and now i'm home wondering what to do since i have to be up to take my momma to work in the morning. eh, maybe i should sleep.

maggianos was very good. i completely stuffed myself. i like how the desserts are never ending.

i'm tired now. i don't know why though.

I actually got to sleep before the sun came up. That was nice. But I slept in today, which isn't going to do me any good. But oh well, now off to Allison's graduation dinner.

i decided to watch the terminal. an excellent movie. monica started watching it with me. she left to go to bed a couple time, but kept coming back for morer. that's how good of a movie it was. then marlene came down and watched the rest of it with us. now i should be sleeping, but i'll put on soul plane until i pass out.

i got up and ding came to get me to go to becky's birthday dinner. we picked up ann then headed out to cheddars in sugarland. it was a nice crowd and one of the guys there actually remembered me from dodson. i knew he looked familiar, but i had no idea from where. we ate there then went to the palace for a couple games. My stupid knee started hurting me during the first game, but i ignored it and kept bowling my game. I ended up with a 198 and a 176. stupid 6/X to end the first game. i had a clean game going in the second game, but choked on the 9th and 10th frames. overall i had fun, but that stupid nap screwed me over. hopefully i can get some sleep tonight.

my knee isn't doing so good. i had my legs side by side on the chairs in the bowling alley and could easily see that it was a fluid build up in my left knee.

I ended up falling asleep. Now I'm tired as fuck and don't want to get up. But I shall.

the gumbo was delicious. now i'm back home. i haven't done the staying up 24+ hours thing in awhile. i may do it today, but my body is telling me not to. but if i go to sleep then i'll be up all night again tonight and won't want to get up to run in the morning. i really want to go to sleep though.

Happy New Years everybody!

Q came and picked me up last night and we went and bowled a couple games at the palace. after that we went to randalls to get us some apple cider for new years. then we met up at dings. from there everybody went to gregs. then we all headed out to marcus'. i had fun since ding brought his ps2 and i got to play that all night. i must've played nfl street for a total of over 8 hours. poke and i kept taking on the eagles on the hard setting, but could not beat them. he was supposed to leave at 7 to head back to austin, but instead we kept playing and he didn't leave until about 8. and even then he didn't head to austin, because a few of us went to whataburger for breakfast. after that i came back and played some more nfl street before starting to watch the cotton bowl. no comment. during the third albert drove me, pu, and jenny li back into town. i'm over pujan's now and he's about to take me home in a little while. i didn't sleep at all last night so i should sleep when i get home, but i can't. i have other things to do. i'm going over to my grandmothers to eat gumbo then i'm supposed to go to cheddars for becky's birthday. so i guess i might actually fall asleep tonight. that would be a nice change.